I try to be strong and god knows I am pretty strong. But why o why am I feeling so weird today? Went to a cancer awareness thing today. It was awesome in a bad way. When I was there, I had tears in my eyes because for the first time, I knew what my mom went through. I knew how difficult it must have been for her. Yet I hear stories of how strong she was. I wonder what was going on in her head? Was she just putting on a brave front? Was she truly not scared? Not scared of death? Of leaving me behind? Did she know that she would be my guiding angel? Is that what I just say to make myself feel better? Guarding/Guiding angel. How weird that is. It almost sounds like a childish idea but somewhere deep in my heart I do believe it. A long time ago, I had decided that I would do something, something to make some kinda difference to this cause. What I knew not. I realised I had forgotten this resolve of mine. It is now time to do something about it. What I still don't know but I shall renew my efforts in this direction.