Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Being opinionated is different from being insensitive.

Let me ask this simple question : What is that you care about? Deeply or superficially?
I am glad that you like to voice your opinion about any thing and everything and quite frankly, that is probably one of the reasons I do like you but then, there are day like today when I wonder if you just plain inconsiderate and insensitive.
I cannot decide if there is something wrong with being either of those two.
Is there something wrong with not standing up for anything? I believe in Human rights, Animal rights, Gay rights and whatever other rights you can find but is there something called rights of inconsiderate?
If I were one of those people, I would say that I would pray for your soul.

Monday, October 17, 2011

If only she could talk...

Ever since I was little, life has been weird. I felt like the neglected child. Both of us did. My twin sister and I. My earliest memories are being flat and wondering what we were doing there. I was relieved to know that she felt the same. Useless.

Things started changing as soon as we hit puberty. We started getting a lot of attention. Men couldn't get their eyes off us. Sometimes their hands too. Some were slapped and some others kneed. A few were allowed to proceed further. And boy, did that feel good.

Things only got better from there. Well at least in terms of the fun we starting having. It was comforting to know that all the attention was on us. We felt important.

We were a team. We would do everything and I mean everything together. It was awesome to lay there in bed, look at each other and then look at the guy look at us. Indecisive of who he wanted first. Or how he could have both of us together. There were men who would bite, there were the ones that sucked, the ones that gently caressed. We loved the way we moved in unison and also the way perked up together.

We were inseparable. Until the day that one stupid man said that he preferred her over me. I mean she was my identical twin. I could look into the mirror and really not tell us apart. But he did. He preferred her over me. But she would not go on a single date without me. She refused to even go to bed with him without me. Could you believe how weird that was for me? Once in a while I would get a pity squeeze here and there and that would be it. I didn't want it but well, what could I do? Emotionally and maybe even physically, we were pretty much like Siamese twins. I wonder what it would feel to be alone, independent. Without her.

In a way, I suppose I got my wish. She was taken away from me. I saw the butcher's knife come toward her and snatch her away. I wanted to scream and I did. Every inch of me was screaming bloody Mary and I was afraid, oh so afraid. I often wonder what happened. Was it me wishing her away that did this?

I have wrinkled and I no more feel perky and maybe it was because I was alone. Men didn't look at me the way they looked at us. Maybe she was the prettier one or it was the package deal. Twins, the fantasy of every man. There was a sympathetic fuck that loved me the way I was, alone but it was felt incomplete. Her place left a void.  She was replaced with some weird silicone filled cup that didn't even move, forget move in unison like we did. It wasn't her. Years later, I gathered the courage and wondered what had gone wrong. I heard someone say breast cancer one day and finally managed to put two and two together. That's what took her away.