Thursday, July 26, 2012

The serial masturbator

This post starts with 4 stories, all true, all connected because of an incident, one of them mine
Story A : Girl A is travelling by a cab. She is rushing to meet friends for dinner, she is late. She, finally reaches and while on the call consoling her friends that she will be there in 10 seconds, attempts to pay the driver. She hears him mumble. She asks him to repeat. She realises that he had asked her to join him, she realises in horror that he has unzipped his pants. She looks around to see if there is anyone around. She still needs her change back. She is shocked to reply or react and he zooms off.
Story B : Girl B is going to college by train. She is alone in the first class compartment in the middle of the afternoon, meaning she was the only one around. A school boy enters and sits across her when he has the entire compartment. He starts a conversation, she has her headphones on. He touches her, maybe to get her attention, she jolts. She is uncomfortable and moves to stand near the door. He follows, attempts to  touch her again, she yells at him. He goes back and within her visual range and unzips his pants. She is shocked to respond and react. The train stops, she walks off.
Story C : Girl C is travelling in the rick. She is busy looking at her phone when suddenly the rickshaw stops, she look around for a reason for it to stop. She realised with a shock that he was stroking his penis in the middle of a road in broad daylight. She creates a huge hue and cry and manages to get the attention of a cop who intervenes only because she refuses to let the issue go. She walks off knowing that she did what was right. 
Story D : Girl D, a 15 year old was walking home one evening. A man on a cycle, stopped and asked her for directions. While she was reading the address on a paper, he held her hand and she realised that he was stroking his penis with the other hand. She was shocked and pushed him and ran. She reached home and cried. 
What do these stories have in common?
A man/a boy who couldn't keep it in his pants. And then they say we dress slutty or that women asked for it.
As I mentioned before, one of these stories is mine and having that happen to you is the worst feeling ever. Being reduced to a mere object. I thought I was the only one, that this was an isolated incident. Unfortunately, it isn't.
What makes these men so bold? How do we as women react to these situations? How do we as a society put a stop to these? 

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Thoughts and afterthoughts on slapping someone.

There comes a time in your life when you realise that you have to stand up for yourself. That moment happened to me a couple of years back and I failed myself. But you see I am a woman and I got the chance to do that once again.

I was at the train station and there was a man standing a little too close to me. He brushed against me and when I asked me to keep his distance, he called me something he shouldn't have. Instinctively, I slapped him. The whole place was a little shocked and I got my ticket and walked off. It was a stupid reaction. If I had thought about it even for a second, I wouldn't have reacted at all. I would have pretended to not hear it at all. I hate admitting it to myself. Walking toward the train, I was mad at myself. What if he followed me? What if he saw me again at the station? What if I was hurt in anyway possible? A lady came up to me that time and said that she was proud of me, she would have wanted her daughter to do the same. Would she have stood up for me if that guy came to attack me back? Would any of those people intervene?

All day long, I walked with a smile and false sense of security. Met a couple of friends. Would they stand up and fight for me, if God forbid something had happened as a reaction to my slapping him?

I am home now. Should I consider myself lucky that I am safe? Should I be careful while going to the same place again?

Despite all these thoughts, I am really glad that I did what I did. I was told I am an inspiration to all the women out there. If you aren't the one that slaps, please support the one that does? Women or men, be supportive of the one that decides to stand up for themselves. I really glad and happy that a lot of people kept asking me where I was on twitter just to make sure that I was safe. It is reassuring to know that I don't stand alone. Thank you everyone who said anything nice to me today.

Btw, it stings like hell when you slap someone.

I can't end this post without reminding you of the podcast on rape and rape laws in India. 

Doing this as a part of  "I Stood Up" Blogathon. Click the link for details.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

That's all I am.

Thought of mom, came up with this. 

If I could paint,
I would close my eyes and think of you
Paint my memories on the easel
With colours you loved.

If I were a sculptor,
I would close my eyes and think of you
Hammer and chisel your face
And your perfect smile.

If music I could compose,
I would close my eyes and think of you
Every note would sing your praise
Never doing justice.

If I were a dancer,
I would close my eyes and think of you
My pirouette and adavus
Would all be for you.

But all I can do is write,
Close my eyes and think of you,
Fumble with words,
Struggle with adjectives.
Yet, all I can say is,
You were perfect.

Sunday, July 08, 2012

I wish I could...

I wish I could tell you everything,
My fears, my dreams, my insecurities.
I wish I could tell you everything
And show you my scars –
Some inflicted by myself.

I wish I could take you to
The deepest corners of my heart.
I wish I could sit you down
And show you where it hurts –
Pretty much everywhere.

I wish I could show you
The little tin boxes labeled with my sins.*
I wish I could tell you everything
And accept you to understand –
I know you will.

I wish I could take apart every part of me
And make you put me back together.
I wish I could I trust you enough
With all of this and more –
Not yet. Not now.

*With direct reference from Darling by K. Thanks for being an amazing inspiration.

Friday, July 06, 2012

Podcast #1 Rape and rape laws in India

This is my first ever podcast and I am very proud of it. I am not the kind to speak into an empty room but I did it and the effort hopefully comes across. I know the podcast leaves a lot to be desired but the idea is to get the information across and I have put in my sincerest efforts to do that.

Please listen to it and let me know what you think.

The links that referred to while preparing for this podcast are :

Do you have more questions on the topic, please be free to send me an email at

Suggestions for the next topic of the podcast are also welcome.