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I knew I shouldn't have done it. When every cell of my body was wanting to go the other way, I still went ahead. I didn't listen to my instincts and look where it has got me. It is easy for me to cut people out. But this hurts, like it has never hurt before. Who knew I could get hurt? Why did I trust? When I could see all the signs, when it frustrated me so much right from the start, why did I still go ahead with it? Why did I expect otherwise? Why did I think it would not go the way I had thought? I definitely didn't think it would end this way. I thought I was being cynical, the crazy one, the one that thought too much, when all I got in return was affection. I thought I was the one that couldn't adjust, the one that couldn't bring myself to feel the same way. This is all my fault. I knew it right from the beginning and still went ahead it. How could I have let myself flow with these stupid feelings? Never again. Never ever again will I be so vulnerable.

You know what sucks? That I know that this is exactly what is going on in your head and I can do absolutely nothing about it. I know you too well. I know you well enough to know that staying away from you and letting you think all this is probably for your best. But everytime I pass by that road, I see the places that we went to, I think of you and us. It probably is never meant to be but the fact that you think all that was a lie hurts a lot. I hope you never read this. I hope you know how I feel. Because in your anger is your healing.