Saturday, August 14, 2010

If tomorrow never comes....

.... life will still go on.

Life is weird and complicated. A fellow blogger kept updating her blog about the condition of her very ill daughter. I kept reading, knowing very well that soon, I would see a post saying that she is home. I knew wrong. She passed away. Her daughter, just 3 yrs younger that I am right now, passed away. Sucks doesn't it? But that is life?

What do I say to her? I know very well how that feels? No I don't. Each one's grief is different.

I called my grandmother. She lost both her daughters and raised her grand children. I asked her, how do you deal with this? She said, you don't. Life just goes on.

What if tomorrow never comes? Simple, isn't it? I die, life, as I know it, ends. But what do I leave behind? What about people who loved me? People that I loved? What about my dreams? My hopes? I plan each day, knowing that I will have to live upto the promises that I made to myself. But what if life doesn't let me.

A friend who hates planning says, I live my life a quarter mile at a time. And the compulsive planner in me, scoffs. How can you not plan? How can you not dream? Whatever I do, I do for tomorrow. I have broken hearts, mine and others, because I wanted a better tomorrow. I have struggled. I have moved away from home, all for this mysterious tomorrow. Hell, I have hidden my feelings deep within me, not revealing them to anyone waiting for the right time. And then, that right time may never come because time leaves me cold turkey.

Live life one day at a time? Such an absurd thought.

Lie in the bed, realising what a waste of a day today was. I laugh, I cry, in vain.

To all the people that I love, I really wish I have more time with you. I hope I can say to you, all that I want to. I hope I do everything I want to. If I don't please remember, I did love you.

Please say a silent prayer for the one departed. I hope her parents find peace. I hope someday her parents meet her in heaven as I shall meet my Mom, someday.

10 comments:

vishesh said...

She's my age.. :| I couldn't find words..I mean how do you comfort someone? yet guess we are expected to say something out of courtesy..

We all do everything for a tomorrow...it will come when we let it come..but are we ready?

nkr4068 said...

Even i don't know the words that i should put in here, God bless!

DeeSee said...

Such a beautiful post. Got me teary eyed. I have neevr dealt with Loss. Im not brave enough to deal with it too. My dad lost his Best friend a few months ago. My mums best friend has about 4 days to live. I dont know how they do it. How do you live those 4 days ?
Had written something about it a few months ago.

http://deeseelicious.blogspot.com/2010/04/angels-watching-us.html

Scribbling Girl said...

I read that post and i was :| and i read u and i am :|....so so true.....Thats y its said live life the best till u can because u seriously don't know what awaits u at the corner.....I remember being fond of a junior when in school who used to go in my bus ...and she used to just lurve me.....and she missed school for like 10 days....and then after 10 days of being ill her friend told me she is no more....she was just 11 and i was so speechless ....thats life...no doubt its true every moment spend sad cd be spend sharing smiles.....

So be happy, be full of smiles for life is today not tomorrow !

Tweety said...

i just dnt knw what to say for this....i just don't want to read abt death anymore rashi...just don't...

Me-Era* said...

:'(

RV said...

Vishesh,
Precisely. Just nothing to say.

Nkr4068,
Thanks :)

DeeSee,
Sometimes, I wonder if it is easier to deal with death when the person has lived their life. I guess we'll never know.


SG,
Tmrw or today, life is just that, a series of unfortunate events

Tweety,
Death sucks and is a part of life. PERIOD!

Sharika said...

U knw wat scares me most. I will die and in few days, it wont matter to the world or to the people.. coz we learn to live with it.. am still finding and searching what the whole merry go round it about.. but i do know one thing.. you cant be happy tomorrow.. plan for tom, but happiness is right now, love is now.. i dont want to wait to be happy..

krist0ph3r said...

hmmm, the next post makes sense now.

life and death is such a mysterious thing. but there is one thing that will always console me and keep me strong, and i hope it consoles you and your friend too.

i believe that no one lives in vain. and that the real fruit of someone's life is in how it touched the lives of people around them. i'm sure she has given everyone who she came in contact with, something more to live by. and now that she isn't here any more, we have something more to live for. her memory, all that she stood for, all that she lived for.

it is for us to ensure that she didn't live in vain.

god bless.

Richa Sharma said...

I have become philophobic; I always think, I will love tomorrow. But what if tomorrow never comes!!
You wrote what probably all of us know but never pause and give a thought. Only those who have lost, know the value of having.
God bless the soul, the survivors and You, who made us all think the worth of living it all today!!