.... life will still go on.
Life is weird and complicated. A fellow blogger kept updating her blog about the condition of her very ill daughter. I kept reading, knowing very well that soon, I would see a post saying that she is home. I knew wrong. She passed away. Her daughter, just 3 yrs younger that I am right now, passed away. Sucks doesn't it? But that is life?
What do I say to her? I know very well how that feels? No I don't. Each one's grief is different.
I called my grandmother. She lost both her daughters and raised her grand children. I asked her, how do you deal with this? She said, you don't. Life just goes on.
What if tomorrow never comes? Simple, isn't it? I die, life, as I know it, ends. But what do I leave behind? What about people who loved me? People that I loved? What about my dreams? My hopes? I plan each day, knowing that I will have to live upto the promises that I made to myself. But what if life doesn't let me.
A friend who hates planning says, I live my life a quarter mile at a time. And the compulsive planner in me, scoffs. How can you not plan? How can you not dream? Whatever I do, I do for tomorrow. I have broken hearts, mine and others, because I wanted a better tomorrow. I have struggled. I have moved away from home, all for this mysterious tomorrow. Hell, I have hidden my feelings deep within me, not revealing them to anyone waiting for the right time. And then, that right time may never come because time leaves me cold turkey.
Live life one day at a time? Such an absurd thought.
Lie in the bed, realising what a waste of a day today was. I laugh, I cry, in vain.
To all the people that I love, I really wish I have more time with you. I hope I can say to you, all that I want to. I hope I do everything I want to. If I don't please remember, I did love you.
Please say a silent prayer for the one departed. I hope her parents find peace. I hope someday her parents meet her in heaven as I shall meet my Mom, someday.