The master - one story, two endings

“Master, tea,” he said as he peeped inside the room. His master was in a corner fixing his tie. The master’s wife, his mistress at the dressing table, fixing her face. She glanced at him as he kept the tray with the tea pot and cups down.

He poured a cup of tea for the mistress just the way she liked it and handed it out to her. She had a scowl on her face. She took a sip of her tea and made a disgusted face. “Is there no one in the house who can make a decent cup of tea?” she asked.

He apologised for no fault of his. His master stopped her but only so that he could yell. His eyes down, he heard it all. “I will take care of it, master,” was all he could say. As he left the room, one could see the smile on his lips and the gleam in his eyes for he knew that once everyone left, the tables would turn. He would be the master of the mistress on the master’s bed.

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“Master, tea,” he said as he peeped inside the room. His master was in a corner fixing his tie. The master’s wife, his mistress at the dressing table, fixing her face. She glanced at him as he kept the tray with the tea pot and cups down.

He poured a cup of tea for the mistress just the way she liked it and handed it out to her. She had a scowl on her face. She took a sip of her tea and made a disgusted face. “Is there no one in the house who can make a decent cup of tea?” she asked.

He apologised for no fault of his. His master stopped her but only so that he could yell. His eyes down, he heard it all. “I will take care of it, master,” was all he could say. As he left the room, one could see the smile on his lips and the gleam in his eyes for he knew that once everyone left, the tables would turn. The master would have to pay, in kind. 

Why curly hair girls will rule the world?

I read this blog post by BZiB and I knew that I had to write a post about why girls with curly hair will rule the world.

Do you have curly hair? Then, you already know why. Reason 1 is simple. We are more tolerant of bad days. When you have curly hair, invariably every other day is bad hair day, we are used to it. We know things will get better and that some days are just bad.

Reason 2. We are used to dealing with unruly flyaways. Curly hair gets frizzy and then, we have to manage it somehow. Sometimes, it works, sometimes, we just let things be.

Reason 3. We have at some point have wished we had straight hair or at least wavy hair. I have straightened my hair twice and while I look amazing it pictures, somehow I don't look me. People with curly hair can deal with what is given to them and can make it rock.

Reason 4. Not everyone knows how to cut curly hair. And hence, either we are ready to try and experiment to find "the one" who can and when we do find them, we will not leave them for the one. Curly haired people are committed.

Reason 5. Maintaining curly hair and making it behave is a task. People with curly hair know that if you want something to be the way you want it to be, it takes effort.

Reason 6. As I have said, maintaining curly hair can be chore and sometimes, it means spending a lot on hair products. Sometimes, when you love something, you just have invest in it. Time, energy and money. Curly hair-ed people don't shy away from this.

Reason 7. We have the awesome capacity to laugh at ourselves when people compare us to Sideshow Bob, Boney M and other amazing people.

Reason 8. If you use a conditioner with a pump (and God knows all those big bottles come with a pump and who buys a small bottle that gets over in a day) we always get a good arm workout. Arms are extremely important in the plan for world domination.

Reason 9. We don't need the skills of Lucy Liu to tie our hair with a chopstick. The curls can make the chopstick stay there forever.

Reason 10. Curly hair is a dominant gene. That means all of us will produce more curly hair people. Our kind shall multiply multi fold and we shall rule the world.


Beware of our nemesis : The wind and the humidity. I hear they are teaming up to form an alliance.


If you need to know, these are my curls.

List

Overwhelming emotions can be conquered by making a list, yes? Yes.

1. Have to get my travel plans in order.
1.1 Find places to stay at Amsterdam, The Hague and Frankfurt.
1.2 Find things to do and people to meet (This doesn't include making a list of gifts I will get back home)
2. Finish the exams peaceful
2.1 Research. Research.
2.2 Find notes, maybe?
3. Research. Research.
4. Hug Luci multiple number of times.
5. Pack your bags.
6. Meet people you won't in a zillion years now.
7. DON'T GET CHEESY.

Don't let anything affect you.

"Don't let anything affect you."

This is probably the stupidest advice anyone can give. It is like saying don't be human. The problem with us is that we don't let thing affect us. We should. Apathy is boring and dysfunctional.

This too shall pass.

This too shall pass.
Yes, it shall.
Good or bad,
it shall go away.
Fade into the oblivion.
Become a memory,
distant and maybe, vivid.

Like the horizon,
it shall be.
Far, unreachable.
You were there,
Once.
And you can't go back.
Make peace.

(I feel this is incomplete. Might complete it soon or never)

Self actualisation

Self defense is probably one of the best ways to get away with murder. We all kill to survive. Even if you a vegetarian or vegan or whatever the newest fad is. (Fruitarian, really?) 

In the hierarchy of needs, survival is one of most basic needs. One that can't be conquered. Everything is forgiven if you do it to survive. People have cut off their own arms, killed others on a boat to eat them and other weird unmentionable stuff.

People who, hence, commit suicide are, according to me, self-actualised.

Disclaimer:

Since I have people who over react as friends, I am not depressed. I am not contemplating suicide. Also, I am not disappearing from twitter for a day after talking about this. *snigger*

Await the doom.

Up and down, round and about,
here, there and everywhere -
these are some of places,
my mood has been.

Awaiting a crash,
A turn to changes things back.
Perfect to turn to imperfectly me.

Things are scary, especially when
they are going your way.
Where's the catch?
I wonder.

That dark figure looming somewhere,
Waiting to jump from the corners.
When will I wake from this dream?

You dream and you pray
And then it comes true.
What then?

How do you enjoy when
you know it will end?
How do you know that
it won't?

Things don't last.
Dreams don't happen.
It will end.

Await the doom.

Photograph

Valentine's day. They gathered around the centre. I followed the friend who had brought me there. She spoke. I was drunk. Everyone poured their drink in the bin. A fire was lit. One by one, they put in a piece of paper. A photograph. I did too. I let go of your picture. But memories?

Written as a part of #55WordStory. Promote given by @vivekisms. For the rest of the themes check this

Prompt 1

Love, River, Wedge, Reflection, Betrayal , Cunnilingus, Pch, Doormat, Lust, Fish :

"Love is over-rated," she said looking at the reflection of the mountains in the almost frozen river. "Drama. Drama. That's all there is to it. Pch. Lust is simple. You have the power. No-one uses you as a doormat. There is no betrayal. No misunderstanding. No wedges between people. Simple sex. I would give up fake love for real orgasms. I could live my entire life on cunnilingus."

Yes. I would.


Love - Anju
River - Zenrainman
Wedge, Reflections - Nive
Betrayal -Naivette
Cunnilingus -SS
Pch - Dr. McNinja
Doormat -N. C
Lust - Laalfirangi
Fish - Mandar

I thought. I typed.

Have you ever laughed so much that you cried? Cried because it hurt and the laughter broke the emotional dam you had built?
Yes, that happened.
I had no reason to cry. I had a 100 blessing to count for.
But yet here I was. Cranky. Stupid. And feeling like an outsider.
I can't decide where I belong. Not here and not there. Home is where the heart is but where is the heart? Is there a heart?
A friend called. He was perplexed. I gave him advice like I have been there before a million of times. Have I? Welcome to the other side, I told him. Where the view is awesome but the cost is your soul
Where is this heading? Where am I going? Do we all have days like these?
It will get better.
Yes.
Or it will get worse.
Whichever. I can't control it.
I just move on.
It is funny how I try to end all my posts on a happy end. Just so that I end up feeling better once I put the final full stop. Most often, I actually do feel better.
On an unrelated note, there is something I decided to do before I leave Chennai and yesterday, the stage was set beautifully for it. But I literally had to bite my tongue to wait for the right time. The right time is such a random concept. In this case, I need a few more months to deal with what is going to come with it.
In the excitement of what might not be, I put this full stop.

When I say nothing at all.

I have a well meaning friend. He is awesome (Just for the record) but is misinformed by all the email forwards, I believe. On a slow, non-verbose day, he pings me and immediately got worried about why I was replying in monosyllables. I am all of asking the person if everything is okay but also, please believe me when I say nothing?

I have been at it for 10 minutes trying to explain to him how my leg doesn't hurt, how I am not worried about missing my exams or that I get the rest of my reports tomorrow. I am not. I am just not verbose today. But apparently when girls say nothing, they mean, something.

To all those girls who perpetuate this thought, you are stupid. Stop playing sweet boys who make awesome friends to girls like me. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

For all further reference,

This is not true.

This is

I judge you.

I judge you, my dear.
I judge you.
I judge you for the choice you made.
I judge you for the comparisons you forced me to make.
I judge you even though I said I never would.
I judge you and it's something you taught me to do.
I judge you and yet, I will let nothing change.
I judge you but I shall support you.
Someday, I will stop, I hope.
One day, one of us will realise that we were wrong.
I hope that one is me.

One more.

I think I heard something tonight.
1. It could be true.
2. I could be imagining it.

Either way, I have to explore if words said or unsaid, are they words I wish to hear?

This thinking of stuff that I decided not to do anymore is coming back to haunt me.

Crash

Please read the important announcements at the end as well?

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It all started with this weird knee pain on Friday. It all started the day before the day I was hoping to be on my knees a lot.

Soon, it was Monday and the pain had reduced but not gone away. This can't be good, I thought and decided it was time to stop putting off going to the doctor. I telling myself that it was a ligament tear. Two of my friends had the same thing. I hadn't realised how contagious thing really was. I would have to limp all of this semester IF I was allowed to walk.

The doctor only confirmed my self diagnosis. It most probably was a ligament pull or tear, an Xray would reveal the extent of the injury.

If I had a superpower it would be that of over thinking. I already had begun thinking of when I could schedule the surgery. Yes, end of the semester. Hopefully, it should not be that bad. If nothing, I will repeat this semester next year with all my juniors.

I managed to get my Xrays and CT scans done and walked in confidently into the doctor's office. I already knew what was waiting for me. Ligament tear. Surgery. Being trained to walk again. Maybe this will teach me not to take exercise lightly. I might start running. Yes, this way all the pain will mean something. Oh my, it is going to hurt a lot, isn't it? Also, whee, painkillers.

The doctor looked at the Xray and stared at it for a good 10 minutes before he said, “It is not a ligament tear or a pull”

SAY WHAT?

“It looks like there is a growth here. I can't see it properly. You need to do an MRI.”
I don't like being wrong and telling me my ligaments are okay after I was planning to run and win the marathon? That is cruel. But wait, a growth?

“What kind of growth?” I ask the doctor giving up the dream of being on the podium of the Mumbai marathon with the Kenyan and Ethiopian runners.

“It mostly is benign tumour but I need an MRI to be sure,” he said.

Mostly? Gulp.“There is less than 10% chance that it will be malignant”

WAIT. Why would you say that to me? To a 23 year old? When she is alone. I walked out of the hospital listening to Video Games by Lana on loop. Reached home and crashed on the bed. My dog jumped on the bed to greet me. Will she miss me? My family. Why am I surprised?

Cancer runs in the family. But with all the smoking and drinking, I expected my lungs or my liver to give out but not so early. My knee? Really? That's what is going to kill me? My grandmother, how will she take the news? Will my brother miss me? Will my Dad? It is a good thing my grandfather doesn't realise what is happening around him. He won't realise that a giant truck just hit the family.

“Dad, I need to come home, NOW. Can you book my tickets?”

It was a wonder he caught the urgency in my voice and 15 minutes later, I was driving to the airport, looking at everything like it was my last time. Good bye, Chennai airport. Good bye, awesome friends here. I will haunt you soon, I swear.

I wondered about how much chemo hurts while I checked in. Finally, I will get to lose all of that weight. And my life long dream of going bald. Awesome. If only, I don't die immediately after. But what are the chances of that happening?

Have I mentioned how much I love painkillers? Boarded the plane, took one and immediately fell asleep.
The next thing I know is this sharp pain in my head. Head? I felt whoozy. Like I was being thrown around. I looked out of the airplane window, we were falling. I could hear the Captain say something but my head could not process. What was happening? All I remember next is a loud crashing sound and everything going blank.

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Apparently, really important announcements relating to this post.
1. I am not dead. This post is not from my grave.
2. My knee is acting funny. There is some kind of "bony projection". I am heading to Mumbai for further investigation. I DON'T HAVE CANCER, yet.
3. This was a stupid attempt at dry humour but I suppose I hit too close to home. I am sorry to all those that I got worried.
4. If I were writing a post about real things (non-fictional), I wouldn't write about my smoking, drinking or my sex life even if I indulged in any or all of those things. #justsaying.
5. I love all of you who actually called. Yay, I have more than one reader of the blog.

That dream

That achievable dream that suddenly within my grasp.
That far fetched destination that is closer than ever, only getting closer with time.
That everything that can be mine only if my grasp is strong and heart of steel.

If only....