Prompt 1

Love, River, Wedge, Reflection, Betrayal , Cunnilingus, Pch, Doormat, Lust, Fish :

"Love is over-rated," she said looking at the reflection of the mountains in the almost frozen river. "Drama. Drama. That's all there is to it. Pch. Lust is simple. You have the power. No-one uses you as a doormat. There is no betrayal. No misunderstanding. No wedges between people. Simple sex. I would give up fake love for real orgasms. I could live my entire life on cunnilingus."

Yes. I would.


Love - Anju
River - Zenrainman
Wedge, Reflections - Nive
Betrayal -Naivette
Cunnilingus -SS
Pch - Dr. McNinja
Doormat -N. C
Lust - Laalfirangi
Fish - Mandar

I thought. I typed.

Have you ever laughed so much that you cried? Cried because it hurt and the laughter broke the emotional dam you had built?
Yes, that happened.
I had no reason to cry. I had a 100 blessing to count for.
But yet here I was. Cranky. Stupid. And feeling like an outsider.
I can't decide where I belong. Not here and not there. Home is where the heart is but where is the heart? Is there a heart?
A friend called. He was perplexed. I gave him advice like I have been there before a million of times. Have I? Welcome to the other side, I told him. Where the view is awesome but the cost is your soul
Where is this heading? Where am I going? Do we all have days like these?
It will get better.
Yes.
Or it will get worse.
Whichever. I can't control it.
I just move on.
It is funny how I try to end all my posts on a happy end. Just so that I end up feeling better once I put the final full stop. Most often, I actually do feel better.
On an unrelated note, there is something I decided to do before I leave Chennai and yesterday, the stage was set beautifully for it. But I literally had to bite my tongue to wait for the right time. The right time is such a random concept. In this case, I need a few more months to deal with what is going to come with it.
In the excitement of what might not be, I put this full stop.

When I say nothing at all.

I have a well meaning friend. He is awesome (Just for the record) but is misinformed by all the email forwards, I believe. On a slow, non-verbose day, he pings me and immediately got worried about why I was replying in monosyllables. I am all of asking the person if everything is okay but also, please believe me when I say nothing?

I have been at it for 10 minutes trying to explain to him how my leg doesn't hurt, how I am not worried about missing my exams or that I get the rest of my reports tomorrow. I am not. I am just not verbose today. But apparently when girls say nothing, they mean, something.

To all those girls who perpetuate this thought, you are stupid. Stop playing sweet boys who make awesome friends to girls like me. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

For all further reference,

This is not true.

This is

I judge you.

I judge you, my dear.
I judge you.
I judge you for the choice you made.
I judge you for the comparisons you forced me to make.
I judge you even though I said I never would.
I judge you and it's something you taught me to do.
I judge you and yet, I will let nothing change.
I judge you but I shall support you.
Someday, I will stop, I hope.
One day, one of us will realise that we were wrong.
I hope that one is me.