Echoes.

It echoes throughout the skies,
It echoes in the streets,
It echoes in deep hollows
of the bleeding heart.

Vacuum fills up,
where once you resided.
Void remains,
where once you belonged.

It echoes to remind of the hollow
that I have become.
It echoes to remind of the love
that I lost.

It shall echo until one day,
when it will hurt no more.
The bruises will heal and
it will echo no more.

For OSI

True Friend

Loneliness- you never left my side,

From me you never did hide.

Whether did surge or ebb the tide,

By me you always lied.

Whether alone or not,

Your presence has never been in doubt.

Whether spring or fall,

You have been with me through it all.

Whether a smile or frown,

You have been always around.

Whether life was up or down,

You never did me renoun,

True, whatever turns did life take,

You are a friend unfake.

Then how am I alone, how am I lonely?

Written on Tuesday, October 11, 2005. (I was 17 then) 

Posted for OSI

The real you

Everything and everyone has a break point. The point beyond which you just can't take it anymore. There comes a point where the negativity and craziness just HAS to end. Once you reach that point, only then does the real and strong you surface!

3ww : Break, negative, surface

#18 The person I wish I was

Dearest my ideal person,

You keep changing. But soon you and me shall meet soon.

Love,
Me

PS: If I do a contest of sorts on my blog, would that be nice?

#7 The one that got away

The letter tag is a very personal experience. Some of the letters are open while some will be password protected. Leave me a comment and I will share the password via email. :D

Show encrypted text


This post is a part of the 30 letter tag

#1 Best friend

My dearest best friend,

This word seems weird and alien but when I think of you, there is no other way I could describe it. The world has come between us (literally) and nothing really affected us. If it was anyone else, they would have gone disappeared from each other lives a long time back. You somehow make things so simple for me. We grew up together but now, we don't know each other yet you are my best friend. You are the one that I used to count upon when we went shopping, today, I count upon you to always be there.

Someday, you'll be back and things shall be the same. Maybe you won't be back and yet, we shall remain the same. That is the way we are. That is what you mean to me.

Love,
Me.


This post is a part of the 30 letter tag.

30 letter tag

I fear I can't write anymore. I need jump start my brain and while cruising through the internet, I found this tag. It is brilliant. And though, I can't promise to write a letter everyday (Moving to Chennai, I might not have the internet....That thought scares the hell out of me) but I will write as much as I can.


Now, this tag requires me to write 30 letters and no, I will not write them in any order. If I finish this tag before errr this year ends (?) I will treat myself to something nice. * Suggestions welcome to what that might be *

The list of letters are as follows :

1. Your Best Friend
2. Your Crush
3. Your parents
4. Your sibling (or closest relative)
5. Your dreams
6. A stranger
7. Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
8. Your favorite internet friend
9. Someone you wish you could meet
10. Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
11. A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
12. The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
13. Someone you wish could forgive you
14. Someone you’ve drifted away from
15. The person you miss the most
16. Someone that’s not in your state/country
17. Someone from your childhood
18. The person that you wish you could be
19. Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
20. The one that broke your heart the hardest
21. Someone you judged by their first impression
22. Someone you want to give a second chance to
23. The last person you kissed
24. The person that gave you your favourite memory
25. The person you know that is going through the worst of times
26. The last person you made a pinky promise to
27. The friendliest person you knew for only one day
28. Someone that changed your life
29. The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
30. Your reflection in the mirror

I just went through this entire list and man some letter will overlap and I wonder if I can password protect some of these posts. Any ideas? It ain't good to be all in the open, right? 


Update : As I complete the letters, I shall be updating the links here!

This week...

This week has been an interesting and a stressful one. What a waste of a week it would be if I don't blog about the things I learnt in this past week. So here goes...

1. Enjoy your work. You might just live to be 80 and at that time, you'll wish that you had the predictability that you had to go to work the next day.
2. Make friends. Keep in touch. As I said earlier, you'll need those senior citizen clubs when you are 80 and have nothing to do but "hang out".
3. Make friends of all ages. Maybe all the friends of your age will die before you. Having friends older will prepare you for the deaths to come (Trust me there will be a lot). Having friends younger than you will keep you open minded.
4. People surprise you. All the time.
5. Sometimes standing up for yourself is the easiest thing to do.
6. The past lets go off you if you let go of the past.
7. You can't have it all. Life and relationships involve sacrifices. Sometimes, the ones you don't want to make.
8. Words like surreal are fun to use.
9. People don't always get what they deserve, in a good way and a bad way.
10. It is ok to block some people of your gtalk if you don't enjoy talking to them. 
11. I aint spontaneous at all. 
12. Co-writes are fun to write.
13. I missed making random lists.

Cleanser

It was 1 am when she left work. She got into the car. She checked the mirror. Her makeup was perfect as was her business suit. Not a crease anywhere. It was perfect. Perfection is what she aimed for. In her work. In everything she did. She started the car. It didn’t start. Once again. The car had given up on her. Just like her life had. The fuel tank was empty just like her house, her heart.

There was no point in trying to start the car now. She decided to walk home. She started walking. It started to rain. DAMN. She cursed under her breath. But did she have a choice? Her heel broke. Double DAMN. She picked her shoes in her hand.

Frustration and irritation creasing her forehead. Within her, yet, there was streak to make things perfect once again. All she had to do was reach home. She challenged the rain, “Try all you want. I will get home. SAFE.” She laughed and thought loneliness had gotten to her. Did she just talk to the rain? Hmm.

As she walked, she didn’t feel the dread you feel walking barefoot on a lonely road on a rainy day. She felt liberated. As each drop touched her body, she felt a sense of serenity, a calm feeling like that of a lover’s touch. She felt her makeup melt away. She felt her mask peel away. She felt naked. She felt like her. As her eyeliner was getting washed away, she felt her vision clearing up.

She felt free. Free from responsibilities. Free from having to keep up. Free from demons within. She saw the dust covered leaves being cleansed by the rains, being liberated by the weight of the un-needed. She felt the same weight being lifted off her. She was herself again. Once again ready to take on the world the way as herself, the way she was, not what she had become!

Submitted to Tales Thursday

Speaking Out - An acrostic

She looked at me
Perhaps to say something.
Eyes, hope within them?
Aspirations aplenty, lay crushed
Killed, dead, lost, shattered.
I wonder and shudder,
Now what to do?
Give her some space
Or return her faith?
Under the covers, hide?
Take the leap, instead!

Written for Acrostic Only

What if...

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 7; the seventh edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Age 3 years , 9 months and 2 days: My first memory.

Baba came in drunk. Heard Aai and Baba fight. Baba hit Aai.

What if I had spoken up then?

Age 5 years, 1 month and 7 days: My first beating.

Baba came in drunk. Heard Aai and Baba fight. Baba hit Aai and then came after me.

What if I had spoken up then?

Age 7 years, 4 months and 3 days: My first abuse.

Uncle came home. He put his hand on my mouth and touched me. I bled.

What if I had spoken up then?

Age 9 years, 5 months and 5 days: My first burn.

Baba came home to find me reading. He took his bidi and burnt me. I had to learn cooking.

What if I had spoken up then?

Age 13 years, 2 months and 9 days: My first proposal

Aai got me all ready in a saree. I had to serve tea to a family. She told me I was to get married. I didn't know that meant.

What if I had spoken up then?

Age 15 years, 5 months and 20 days: My first hope crushed.

I was married to a boy I had seen once before. Maybe this life would end. He came home drunk on our first night and beat me after having sex.

What if I had spoken up then?

Age 15 years, 11 months and 28 days: My first abortion.

I was pregnant for 3 months where they tested that my baby was a kill. They had her killed.

What if I had spoken up then?

Age 16 years, 10 months and 13 days: My first child.

I was pregnant again. This time with a boy. He lived. All the time I had with him was when I had to feed him. I wanted to be with him more.

What if I had spoken up then?

Age 17 years, 11 months and 15 days: My first girl

I was pregnant again. No testing this time. They already had a boy. I gave birth to a girl. Her father never asked to see her.

What if I had spoken up then?

Age 20 years, 7 months and 23 days: My girl's first memory.

He came home drunk. He hit me. She watched.

What if I had spoken up then?

Age 22 years, 3 months and 1 day: My girl's first beating.

He came home. He hit me and then lashed for her.

What if I had spoken up then?

Age 22 years, 3 months and 2 days: My first realisation.

My girl was living my life all over again.

I had to speak up now.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Beach Beauty

The red ball in the sky,

finally setting.

The red in the cheeks,

never fading.

The laughter, the jest

always around

The hugs, the warmth,

never leaving.

The ocean so blue,

Hearts, oh, so true,

Of the dark skies

running away from goodbyes

and no sand in the shoes.

Return to mundane life,

With hope of sunny days,

Once again, never too soon.

Posted for OSI and ABC Wednesdays - B

Yes.

Sunday Scribbling asked

What are you saying yes to in your life? What have you said yes to that changed your life? How has yes been a part of your year so far? Do you practice yes or no? Maybe there is something you need to not say yes to. What writing comes to you from yes?

This question comes as a very valid point in my life. I can be a very rigid person in life and have to start saying "Yes" to new experiences. I need to start taking criticisms in my stride and not be so sensitive to them.

On the other hand, I need not say "Yes" to everything. My major issue is that I agree to anything and everything and then, when I cant handle everything, I tend to quit. Come on my hands are small and if I overload them, things are bound to fall down. I need to learn to pick the right things and give it my best.

I need to be ok to failure but I should atleast try. I shouldn't give up just like that. Just yesterday, I told a friend to not let me quit my current endeavor. Though I am sure he is going to come up with frustrating ways to motivate me, I will try my best to stick to this thing.

I need to say "Yes" to difficulty, to challenges. Nothing is easy. Nothing worthwhile atleast. Let me fight for this. Or else how would I be able to tell life, " Lets see what else you got. Bring it on"

I'm off!

Do you know the feeling when you just want to write? I have it today. Maybe because I'm so excited and I was thinking what the hell do I write about? I have been feeling pretty muse-less now a days. I suddenly, remembered that today was a Wednesday and we have the 3WW. And wonder of wonders, one of the words was journey. And that is precisely what I'm excited about. I'm off for a mini and super vacation.

Anyway, this is my take with the words : Hinder, Journey, Rigid.

After doing almost nothing for around 3 months, Sarah was bored. Bored of her life, of her routinely empty days. She had a busy rigid schedule which she gave up because it was beginning to take a toll of her health. The doctor had advised to take it slow. Slow but now, her life had come to complete stand still. There was nothing to do. She needed some excitement, something that gave her a reason to get up in the morning.



Finally came a call. A call from a friend who was bored too. They made a plan to meet halfway. There were a number of things coming her way. Her dad who wasnt used to her taking off like this was one major hinderance. But she managed to convinced him which kind of surprised her. Now, all that mattered was going on this journey. She was going to meet absolutely new people, of whom she had heard, some of whom she had spoken to but never ever met. She thought she was quite the dare devil. Now, all that matter was that trip. She packed her bags, while dancing. Finally, she was excited about something.

Oh yes, I'm tired of being online 24*7 and I'm taking off tomorrow to my grandmother's birthplace. I'm super duper excited and even though the story is absolutely stupid sounding, it is exactly what happened in the past 3 month. I will post a lot of pics when I'm back. Bon Voyage to me :)

Queer!

"His chances of surviving are bleak," the doctor said, "It maybe time to say goodbye."

"Dad, I'm queer. I'm sorry I never told you," his son whispered.

All were shocked. There wasn't a sound around the room, not even him breathing. Suddenly, there was a hiccup.

"I always knew, son." The father breathed his last.

Wrote it for 3WW. Haven't written here in a while and had to kickstart! The words were: Queer, bleak and hiccup.

The half

We met but for a brief time.
We parted with sorrow sweet.
Promises of once again
Deep within us.

Far away you are.
Close to my heart,
there is, though,
A small piece of you

A half of what you carry,
A half of what you touch
Each day like you
Touched me once.

I hold it close to myself
Trying to relive each moment
Hoping that some day
I will hold you just as close.

That bit of you protects
and cares for me.
Supports me when
I'm down. It is you.

It is what I cling to
When Im scared.
It is what I clench
When I'm afraid. It is you.

One day, finally,
We will be together again
The halves around the necks
Will be one just like us.


Written for OSI

My descent

I slowly begin my descent,

Down back to terra firma.

Lived in fame and glory,

For a time, I call mine.

I'm falling, down and fast.

The fall scares me not,

However.

It reminds me of all,

All the things I lost,

Of the things I gave up,

Of the dreams I shunned

Of people, I left.

The high of the flight

doesnt compare to

The scare of the fall.

Things change.

People move on.

Will you still be there?

I slowly begin my descent,

With hope and belief.

I slowly begin my descent,

Hoping to rise in your eyes.

I slowly begin my descent,

Down back to terra firma.

Lived in fame and glory,

For a time, I call mine.

I'm falling, down and fast.

The fall scares me not,

However.

It reminds me of all,

All the things I lost,

Of the things I gave up,

Of the dreams I shunned

Of people, I left.

The high of the flight

doesnt compare to

The scare of the fall.

Things change.

People move on.

Will you still be there?

I slowly begin my descent,

With hope and belief.

I slowly begin my descent,

Hoping to rise in your eyes.

PS: Sometimes, what you believe to be the heights are nothing but the peak of the loneliness. It is best to fall down, hard, maybe even break and begin all over again.

Submitted for OSI